Avoiding the Mid-Life Crisis

4 quick topics

2009-06-05T12:25:00.005-05:00

Barely holding the Stubbs economy together.

Oliver is growing well and looking great. As much as I like being Dad and or Daddy-O, it will be nice to be Daddy again.

SINGLE PAYER UNIVERSAL COVERAGE NOW!!!! Cigna can kiss my @$$.

The saxer needs distressed, vintage, US saxophones to refurbish and sell for badly needed profit. Everyone thinks their junk is a treasure.

Throw away set opener

2009-04-24T09:29:00.002-05:00

Smilin' Bob's Herbal Enhancement Theme (audience surely whistles along) slowly morphing into "Feelin' Groovy" in countermelody. Hilarious, engaging, unforgettable and every band will be angry they didn't think of it first.

"Ban the Nickel" the band

2009-04-24T08:09:00.003-05:00

Set 2*:
Super Sex (Morphine)
Democracy is Coming (L. Cohen)
Danny's All Star Joint (Ricky Lee Jones) (w/ guest female vocalist)
36-24-36 (Violent Femmes)
Foggy Notion (Velvet Underground)
Blue Rondo a la Turc (Brubeck)
Harlem Nocturne (a la The Viscounts)
Lawdy Miss Clawdy (Lloyd Price)
Roll With Me Henry (Etta James)
Bad Buisnessman (Sqirrel Nut Zippers) (possibly in medley with E Costello's "This Town")
Lucille / All Around the World (Little Richard)
*DW to redesign set 1 more selfishly and then we mix them up.

Given the average disposition of guitarists, I applaud the attempt to live without one. I wonder how long we can hold out. I wonder if 30- and 40- somethings can recruit a more malleable guitarist than I was able to recruit as a 20 year old. And who can paint a nickel with a red slash through it on a bass drum?

19th Nervous Breakdown

2009-04-21T16:56:00.002-05:00

19 weeks until Oliver is due.
19 years until I am out ofthe child-rearing business.
19 years ago Sweet Pea was 19.
O, to be 19 again and to start all this great stuff much, much younger.

To those suddenly concerned about deficit spending...

2009-04-20T20:34:00.001-05:00

Go suck an egg.

No, seriously, it's about damned time. Welcome to the side of reason. I hope you can eventually steer your party out of the Reagan/Bush/Bush rut. I may even come back to the party for the first time since Reagan made me insanely ashamed of my party and my vote.

Bow to Clinton!!!! If balanced budgets are so important, you know you want to.

Now that we are like minded, here are a couple of reasons this may not be so bad.

1. We are investing in things we will soon need, and that future generations will absolutely need. Not stupid, wasteful wars, expensive paramilitary contractors, and impractical, godawful expensive defense systems development that will need to be scrapped.

2. Overspending is a temporary measure. Hopefully the "temporary" part is a promise Obama will keep. Hopefully those who ignored 8 years of trends with the previous regime will give Obama longer than 3 months.

3. Clinton deficit spent in 1993 more than Bush the twit did in 1992. Obama 2009 will obviously out-deficit Bush the traitor on 2008. Clinton exceeded expectations of even his own 8 year plan to balance the budget.

Relax. The next eight years will be much more prosperous and peaceful than the previous eight years. Enjoy it. The new, improved, more mellow me will never make you admit it.

In the meantime, in case I am wrong, dear friends, go find for your party the first truly fiscally responsible Republican candidate for president since Nixon. Present him and I'll vote for him.

2009-04-14T16:55:00.002-05:00

Why is my state income tax, in the reddest state in the union, more than my federal tax? Why is my student loan interest not deductable on my state return?

Happy tax day everybody. Feeling a little less liberal today, but I'll get over it. It's still a good deal.

We are doomed / Hey baby can I have some spare change?

2009-04-01T21:10:00.003-05:00

The damage is done. We will all live in poverty because of the Bush years. It will take a wheelbarrow of dollars to buy a loaf of bread. Why? Because we deserve it. We ordered it and came back for seconds.

Obama is not up to the task. Nobody is. It is time to pay the piper, to suffer for our sins.

I just shot through my miniature paycheck, the first reflecting my 15% cut in pay. Ack!

It'll be a boy

2009-03-25T15:50:00.002-05:00

Oliver Zachary Stubbs will be born approximately August 16. All indications are he will be healthy and without abnormalities. 3-D ultrasound is absolutely amazing, and I will post video when I figure out how to do it. He picks his nose, and flashes us a peace sign. Very cool.

2009-03-13T21:49:00.001-05:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lV_d2owgsqE&eurl=http://video.google.com/videosearch?hl=en&q=little+richard+keep-a-knockin&um=1&ie=UTF-8&ei=4Be7Sa-uIJb&feature=player_embedded

To illustrate my ridiculous career goal...

A happy Friday the 13th

2009-03-13T21:21:00.003-05:00

A short day at work. A buffalo chicken sandwich at ND foods, Daniel's treat. (Sourdough bread piled very high with Boar's Head roasted chicken, buffalo sauce, and a slice [yes, a heart-foolish slice, more like a tombstone sized slab] of bleu cheese.) Thanks again, Daniel. A game of rummy with SweetPea. A healthy dinner. And a viewing of "It Only Takes a Second".

Keep a-Knockin, Lucille

2009-02-20T22:58:00.003-06:00

My ultimate career goal is, and always has been, to be sucked back to 1955 and be asked to play saxophone for Little Richard. For some reason I last night devoted my heart and soul to the dilemma that I would face: To play first tenor or baritone sax. To make the best decision, I listened to all 33 Little Richard songs on my mp3 player. In my heart of hearts, I would choose to play the bari. With a day to reconsider, I am sticking to that decision.

More interesting is what that says about me, or at least what it might mean. I have always been something between willing and eager to forfeit the spotlight and the glory. Not that I fear the attention... I relish it when it is thrust upon me. I think what I really love about the bari isn't even the chance to be brilliant and conspicuous for a fraction of a second at the end of every 8 measures, nor the rare solo where the "buffoon on the bassoon" might surprise the listener with my mere competence. Rather, it is the workaday ethic required to be an effective bari player. Get lazy and you become a nuisance and occasional comic relief. Work it hard, attack and release with a sense of precision and somehow at the same time, reckless abandon; you become the vital heart and lungs of a vibrant saxophone section, framing the harmonies and tasty licks of the legit saxophones with sighs, grunts and growls. My tenor player would be aware of what I was doing for him, and isn't the praise of one's peers what we all really crave? The audience's oblivion to my gift would fuel me with a certain superiority. Sure, I'd only know the pleasure of occasionally getting laid from the tenor saxophonist's stories. But wasn't the prospect of casual sex always much better than the casual sex itself?

While we're on sex, isn't the extra curvature on the bari ultra ultra ultra sexy? What the tenor has over the alto, the bari has over them all, to the nth degree. I am sure this is universally observed to be true and incontrovertible.

So, instead of being sucked back 54 years to be non-star in Little Richard's band, why not opt for 20 years back and play for Morphine? Certainly, all the things I love about my Little Richard gig apply to this gig as well plus I'd get to be the man, too. Tempting. It's kind of like pitching and playing center field and shortstop for the St. Louis Cardinals at the same time. Who says you can't have it all? Not me.

I just say be careful what you ask for. Dude works his ass off constantly. Hey, I've got a lazy streak. I'm sticking with my original plan, regardless of what anyone might think of me.

Another peer bites the dust and Fistbaby

2009-02-19T21:30:00.002-06:00

My company is hemorrhaging money. Guys like me are getting canned every day. For the first time in my career, my numbers verge on stellar, so I feel a little more secure than I would have say any other time. Still... The boss is coming to town next week. I reminded him today I am leaving town next (the same) week and he said "have a nice trip." I am safe for a week.

I forgot to return the chess coach's call. I feel rotten about that. Dorry, Dude.

"Abort Obama" guy should do time. "Kill presidents, not fetuses" is not speech I think worthy of protection. He probably upgraded to a "lynch Obama" emblazoned on a rebel flag before the Secret Service returned his sign anyway. Perhaps I'm a bit hipocritical. My "Waterboard Bush and Cheney" sign isn't exactly Christian.

I do not really have a "Waterboard Bush and Cheney" sign.

Yes, I do.

No, I don't.

Not yet.

PJ ('Pea Junior) is the size of a fist. PJ seems to be very robust and SweetPea Sr. (mama) is frequently ill. I am a laundry / kitchen machine. I can't believe Geezer Saxer will be Geezer Saxer Daddy.

I put a new HDD in my IRiver Jukebox and restored my music library. I have done every repair conceiveable to that thing. If anybody needs technical help or things to avoid when using an IRiver H10 20GB, I'm your man. It's an amazing device. I still have around $100 invested all told and have a massive music storage device. You can pick them off eBay for unter $50. The HDD and the battery are available for $20 each. That's a steal. But do not use Rhapsody. I don't know how, but they don't like each other at all.

It's spring time. Time to refurbish the stunt kite and get ready for the warm, spring winds.

Blueberry is almost a Walnut

2009-01-12T09:48:00.003-06:00

The size of my final child when I first saw his/her heartbeat was that of a blueberry. Blueberry is now almost a walnut, and apparently fit as a fiddle. Not smoking is going well. A little relapse for the OU-Florida game (the sound you hear is my heart crushed) and right back on the wagon. A happy, healthy new year for us all.

2008-12-22T08:45:00.002-06:00

The Christmas festivities have begun. A tamale and chili feast with the immediate family of my youth and our spouses and young'uns. Lots of hanging out and talking like the good old days. A nice pot-luck with the immediate family of my wife's youth at the Saxer's house last night. A wonderful, peaceful, jovial occasion... My hope is that my friends had or will have a similar beginning of their family Christmas festivities and that it just keeps getting better through Christmas.

Jackson played Christmas songs at his piano recital. He wanted to perform from memory. He froze up in the middle of the second song and began to cry. He got his music, looked at the note he forgot and continued and played well, although he was obviously still very upset and crying. I frankly thought he would melt down. Boy's got a lot of ultra fine attributes, but I did not think he would have any poise left whatsoever in that situation. Shame for my under-estimation, and joy that he's stronger than I thought. He played very well. I am so proud of that kid, though I know he is great mainly despite me.

Peace, love and joy.

Merry Christmas from the 3.5 of us!!!

2008-12-15T19:00:00.002-06:00

Holy...

2008-12-10T19:57:00.001-06:00

This was supposed to be impossible. After years of buying very expensive snake-oil, and a thousand or so in co-pays to the world's worst ob-gyn, after giving up all hope, after crossing out of my grey area of kind of wanting it into firmly in the camp of happy, child-rearing semi-retirement, and well after abandoning prayer for it...
At 44, I have sired a zygote.
I will be able to celebrate my youngest's high school graduation and my first Social Security check with one party.
Very sobering. Pray for me. Pure glee to follow.
Holy...

The rat's-ass (*) nobody gives

2008-12-04T13:19:00.001-06:00

Longhorn fans should be disappointed that their team lost the tie-breaker for the privilege to play in the conference championship. But their sense of victim-hood and moral outrage is poorly placed. Consider this:

After their six point loss to Tech, Texas needed Oklahoma to A. beat Tech for them, then B. beat OSU whom Texas beat underwhelmingly by 3 at home. Oklahoma did Texas's dirty work for them.

But Texas also needed Oklahoma to do this unspectacularly enough to not impress the voters and computer ratings formulas, or hope for the miracle of Baylor to also beat Tech. Sorry, 'Horns. No dice...

Mack's tie-breaker methodology bitch:

The method used in a 3-way tie doesn't get controversial until this decisive fifth criterion. The BCS's highest ranked team wins. The BCS is effectively a huge jury of knowledgeable people (polls) and five computer indexes, averaged to give each team its rating and ranking. Good a method as any, I suppose, although some fools, and their errors, are involved in these ratings.

Mack Brown's favorite tie-break method is uniform with several other elite conferences. The lowest BCS rated team is eliminated, while the other two are evaluated by their head-to-head contest. Texas wins in Mack's favorite tie-breaker (which is why it is Mack's favorite tie-breaker). This method is as good as any other, but I fail to see a distinction in purity between allowing the BCS rating to eliminate a team and allowing it to choose a team. In this case, its inherent unfairness would have been that the work of the tie-break loser, OU, who effectively eliminated Tech via ass-whipping, would clear the way for the victor, Texas. A different result, equally arbitrary, but no more or less fair. The Big 12 can adopt this next year and I'd be fine with it.

Oklahoma high school divisions use the point spread differential. This year it would have been Tech (-38), Texas (+4), and Oklahoma (+34). Not surprisingly, Mack "Earn It On The Field" Brown hasn't mentioned this possibility.

Or pick your favorite method from these under-mentioned but reasonable tie-break methods: Highest ranked conference opponent defeated on the road, most top 25 wins, best non-conference record versus the highest caliber opponents... All of these favor Oklahoma in 2008. In fact, using the only method that could be used whereby Texas could declare a victory, we have to ignore the third party in the tie and pretend that the runner-up wasn't the very team that took the eliminated team out of the equation. Granted, this year, equally unfairly, we are ignoring that #2 beat #1. But the tie-breaker by nature must choose the value of one virtue over another. More importantly, it must be be done, and has been done, in advance, with no prejudice toward or against a particular team. Mack can cry all he wants to. To confess a weakness of moral character, I'd enjoy it more if the system were distinctly unfair to him. But it's not. Mack, root for Missouri and enjoy a steaming, hot cup of shut-the-hell-up while you still have some esteem among your foes.

The best solution to the whole, overstated tie-breaker "crisis", by the way, is Mike Leach's: Graduation rate. It (presumably) favors Tech, but what better way to put all the BS in perspective, and to better motivate elite level coaches to look after their student athletes as students.

oddly sympathetic for the 'Horns

2008-11-30T20:44:00.000-06:00

Given the scenario that Oklahoma would get the chance to play for titles over Texas on a tie-breaker that is unfair / arbitrary / so-incredibly-close-the-distiction-is-trivial (pick your poison, I haven't decided myself), I expected my thought to be, "Bwaaah-ha-ha-ha-ha." But I feel surprisingly sympathetic to the disappointment in Austin. Too bad. It could have just as well gone the other way.
But when I think of the way Colt McCoy begged for the late hit flags in the OU-TX game, and Mack Brown's WTF-is-ABC-thinking-to-let-this-happen phone call to the broadcast booth during action, it relieves me of excessive anxiety.
I just changed my mind. Screw 'em. Bwaaah-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Thanksgiving

2008-11-25T08:34:00.000-06:00

1. Sweetpea, my best friend and Tatters, my astonishing son, and even Bo, our retarded, neurotic, gay wonder dog
2. My supportive and loving families, in-laws included
3. My unbelievable friends I do not deserve, including those I have only met here
4. My comfortable house and suitable transportation
5. The opportunities my nation of residence offers
6. My saxophones, owned and borrowed
7. To have been raised a Sooner
Merciful God and eternal salvation aside, that's my list. Take away anything else, I wouldn't notice.

Schedule:
Wednesday AM: Put up a little over 6000 outdoor Christmas lights (absurd, yes; fun, yes)
Wednesday PM: Mom's house, brother and family will be there about noon
Thursday AM: Get non-AM oriented family up and about. To mom's again to help cook the feast.
Thursday 11:30 AM: Thanksgiving feast
Thursday 1 PM: To father-in-law's for seconds on stuffing
Thursday 2:30 PM or so: To Sweetpea's maternal grandparents' to visit and ignore the food
Thursday whenever: Back to mom's for hopefully many, many games of spades and whiskey with my brother
Friday AM: Simple brunch at mom's, see brother off.
Friday PM: Finish the lights I probably didn't finish Wednesday AM
Saturday: End of season soccer party noonish, watch Sooners anihilate the Pokes at night, otherwise play, play, play. We painted the house last weekend; we deserve it.
Sunday AM: Christmas music season begins at church. The saxer will be saxing.
Sunday after lunch: Proceed to Kansas City for stupid monthly meeting Monday AM.

Between Thanksgiving, and ramping up in earnest for Christmas, this is easily my favorite weekend of the year. I wish the same, profound joy to all my friends. Excepting, of course, young Mr. Hanni, specifically Saturday evening from kickoff to final gun. And may even that sad burden be somehow eased for you, and the rest of your Thanksgiving be warm and fuzzy.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

2008-11-14T22:24:00.000-06:00

1. Weight Watcher's double chocolate muffins
2. Snackwells devil's food cookies
3. Rice Krispy double chocolatey bars
4. No fat or low fat chocolate pudding
5. Hot fudge sundae at McDonalds

I need additional heart friendly chocolate fix suggestions from my friends.
Any suggestions?

Hello dear friends...

2008-11-10T20:22:00.000-06:00

1. How cool does our president elect look in a suit and his shades? I keep thinking he's about to shoot aliens with a flame thrower or something.
2. K's grandmother had a stroke and is recovering fairly nicely. Your prayers, please.
3. Randi Rhodes is our Ann Coulter. I can't figure out who our O'Reilly is, but I'm sure to be embarrassed when I figure it out.
4. Sweet Pea's little hoop-dee got its first wreck last night. The family is fine, aches aside. Hyundai Elantra gets the highest crash rating possible in Madsaxer's book.
5. The pergola project is stalled. Can I get it primed before this weekend? I hope to paint the house (and the pergola) this weekend so it will look great with our almost Griswoldian Christmas light spectacular.
6. Forget wisdom, judgement and choice of associates for just a moment. W is behaving maturely lately.
7. Oklahoma will win out. They will beat Tech 66-49. They will beat OSU 69-28.* They will beat Missouri 42-24 in a frigid Arrowhead Stadium. Then they will play in the national title game and beat Alabama 35-10. Mack Brown will whine. He will have a point, but it won't matter. *Would have been closer before this team was disheartened in a couple of high-grade losses.
8. J has been inspired by a loosely scientific experiment involving a McDonald's cheeseburger in the works at fellow-blogger Kurtis' crib. Thanks, Kurtis. We're expecting a big raspberry from the 5th grade science fair jury, but you never know...
9. Cigarettes have crept back into my life. Crap. Nothing I do makes me feel stupid like returning to the scene of that crime... The battle is lost, but the war is not over.
10. We recruited a tenor sax player, and I have been joyfully re-assigned to the baritone at church. HONK HONK!!! It's almost Christmas time, the most wonderful church music time of the year.

I got the red state blues...

2008-11-04T18:26:00.000-06:00

I heard this essay read on the radio. I am sorry, but I cannot attribute it to a particular author, and can only paraphrase.

"There are two Americas. One that in our worst times and best times want to make them better. Those who are optimistic. Those who want to help the least unfortunate among us. Those who believe that us corporately can be happier and live better without endangering our individual potential. The second America are those who are chained to the notion that accomplishment is only valid if it is by an individual, those who believe that the unfortunate should be punished, those who cling to an illusion of superiority via bigotry and dogma, and who loathe those unlike themselves. I find myself increasingly unconcerned for that America, and increasingly willing to proceed without them and leave them to wallow in exactly what they inexplicably desire."

I thought: RIGHT ON!!! And then...

Hey, that's my state. That's most of my church. That's my whole family. That's most of my friends. That's my wife and my mother. That's a lonely life for madsaxer in my America. So what to do?

Hope the Clintons and Obamas can be presidents often and long enough to counter the damage done by Reagans and Bushes? Honestly hope that my guy is a better president to you than your guy was to me? Yeah. That's a start.

I know the science-haters (no global warming, 6000-year-old Earth...) might hate the sound of this at first. Evaluate what happens the next eight years empirically. It stings when your party loses. You can move, riot or secede, sure, but short of that you're along for the ride. Maybe things will improve. Watch what changes and what ensues. Was it what you expected? Was it what FOX said would happen? Look for pleasant surprises. Note the failures. Base your future vote on the data you collect.

May God bless the United States of America.

Photos to come

2008-10-27T07:29:00.000-05:00

I finished the final gusset on my amazing-considering-the-budget 8' x 26' pergola over the Stubbs patio and lower deck. Next, prime and paint. Tedious, but no problem. THEN, recruit some serious-ass muscle to wrestle the Little-Shop-Of-Horrors grade wisteria to train it to creep across the top and dangle its lovely lilac bunches from its ample shade. It is not a certainty that this is possible, but this is my aim. By the way, material cost was less than $300!!!

Due to this construction, I listened to, rather than watched, Oklahoma's win over K-State. Even listening it is evident that one of two things will happen: The defense will improve, or the Sooners will lose multiple games beforfe the regular season ends.

Today, knock out a project at the OKC office, drive to Greenleaf Nursery near Gore, OK, drive back to OKC office, give a 1-hour presentation on pneumatic directional controls and mufflers, then drive to Dallas, TX, check into a hotel to attend two days of hydraulic troubleshooting classes. Long, tough day. Despite cardiovascular concerns, I intend to splurge on an iFratelli pizza some time during my stay...

America Left XM169

2008-10-20T18:57:00.000-05:00

This is Fox / HateRadio for liberals. A different kind of poison. I listen to it in doses, and do not cite anything I learn there as fact without checking it. But here's something obvious they pointed out that I missed.

Wild-eyed, ungroomed woman: "...He's, he's, he's an Arab."
Senator McCain: "No ma'am. He's a decent family man."

Hey, that's a pretty blue car.
No, that's a Chevrolet.

Was Senator McCain's response a canned response held in ready and delivered in a panic to stop the crazy? Or is decent family man the opposite of Arab in the mind of Senator McCain?

That's a crazy old bigot.
Nah, that's a senator from Arizona.

My hero has joined us!

2008-10-11T15:00:00.000-05:00

http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2008-10-10/the-conservative-case-for-obama

2008-10-11T14:42:00.000-05:00

A couple of phantom roughing the passer calls, a stolen interception... Pure robbery.

Still, you need to win these.

1. Don't call unnecessary fake punts. It reeks of desperation even if you make it.
2. Don't waste so many downs running. This isn't 1920 and we're not in the SEC.
3. Step up and be manly on defense when times are tough.

Longhorns are still sissies; they beg for bad calls. They got 'em and they won.

This Ayers thing has energized the base!

2008-10-10T09:54:00.000-05:00

Then Sarah raised the hem on her dress 1", bought 1/2" higher heels, and we started talking about terrorist friends of Hussein Obama. Somebody yelled "terrorist", then "traitor", then "kill him". It was so fun talking about lynch mobs, like the good ol' days!

But now I am very tired.

If this strategy works, I will embrace McCain as the president we deserve.

I've been so negative lately

2008-10-09T16:04:00.000-05:00

My friends... My reward to you for enduring my poison rants:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPXl0BZt4ko

Senseless violence. Pukathon.

2008-10-09T15:34:00.000-05:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_AJ0SkbPxAk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aRn5-LQCg2s

Friends, please tell me. What is wrong with me? This is so funny to me.

Olathe Police Department and Municipal Court

2008-10-09T13:46:00.000-05:00

I drive the speed limit because I cannot afford speeding tickets, and I try to be safe and fuel efficient. A habitual former speeder, I rely heavily on my cruise control. Occasionally, I err. I drive 45,ooo miles per year, and over my five years of doing this, I have five moving-violation-grade speeding tickets. Four of them were deserved, the latest was entirely bogus, and Sgt. Millenburger knows he is a chicken$&!# fraud and his municipal court defines kangaroo...

But grudges don't help anything. Big picture, Pat, big picture...

6% of my driving is done in the state of Kansas, the balance in Oklahoma, Arkansas, and Texas. Care to guess the percentage of tickets come from Kansas? Did you guess 80%? You win!

There's no recourse for my unjust ticket in Olathe Municipal Court. It's a money machine. But I can warn my friends. Slow down in Johnson County, especially by the inspection station when you first roll into Olathe from the south. Sgt. Millenburger is often there.

Also I spend $5.25 for toll each way 12 times a year. $126. Hello scenic byways, goodbye revenue. Fill up my gas tank at the Hwy. 177 exit in Oklahoma, and when I re-enter I-35 on the return trip home. Goodbye revenue. Meals? No, fill up on bloody marys, vegetable sticks and popcorn for free at the Drury. And a hearty breakfast, too. Other than lodging, I will not spend one dime in Kansas. Not until I am fully paid back for the ticket, the expense of my appeal, and even the old tickets I deserved, plust interest. And then I'll keep going.

Boasting of my nasty spite? Okay, a little. But I suggest, when you get an unjust ticket away from home but where you will return, there are ways to get yourself a refund with a little discipline and patience.

2008-10-08T15:46:00.000-05:00

Senator McCain,

Thank you for your service to our country. Some make the ultimate sacrifice, and they get the glory on holidays. You made the penultimate sacrifice, and had to settle for a career, scads of cash, glory, perks, self-congratulations and survival. I admit, though, I wouldn't ask ANYBODY to suffer what you have suffered at any cost or for any amount of glory.

Senator is a title worthy of a soldier who suffered so, so long as he serves his constituents. Arizona elects you over and over, so I assume you take care of them. Thank you for that as well. The Keating 5 thing, don't worry about it. Senators all get a little sullied as time goes on. And time has gone on and on and on. It's truly a hazard of the trade. Forget about it.

But the White House is not a retirement community for war victims or good senators. At one point we could have tried your ideas, and would have, except that your buddy executed the most vicious push poll in the history of mankind, slit your throat in South Carolina, siezed momentum which was properly your own and stole the job. That was tragic. Further unfortunate, he proved that your mutual ideas were essentially flawed by executing them and badly damaging the country for which you suffered so nobly. Your timing in trying to serve us all has been tragic, and I truly feel bad that the greater glory always went elsewhere. Maybe the fact that W took the egg in the face for the ideas you would have been responsible for is the justice worthy of a man who has already suffered too much in service.

Perhaps in the waning days of your valiant campaign, you can demonstrate the difference between your foreign policy or economic plan which subtantially differs from what has led this great country here, and the voters will reward you with a victory at last. I suspect there is no difference and thus should not get the job. If there is a difference and you can sell it to us, perhaps there is time for a change of heart. If you run out of time, then the tactical error was your own; there is no place to place the blame. Otherwise, I hope you minimally address your co-applicant with the respect he is due.

The consolation prize is that it would be the crappiest possible time to "win" the job. The upstart senator has proven nothing to us and may not be up to the job. We're so desparate for change, we will tell you we don't know and vote for him anyway. You can enjoy some Scotch or Percaset or both with your gorgeous wife, laugh a little, write a book about what could have been, continue to be a senator, whatever. I'm glad you are well compensated and set in life.

And I truly hope your opponent will be a pleasant surprise to you, and he will serve you, and us all, wisely and properly. I hope you do not shame yourself with disgraceful, unwarranted attacks. Peace be with you, and may the rest of your life. May your country try to serve you in return for your pain.

Sincerely,
The Other One

Let's get ready to Rumble!!!!!!

2008-10-07T08:45:00.000-05:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GEtZlR3zp4c

The Whisper

2008-10-03T15:09:00.000-05:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v6GBdyws5YU

What's in this for Lieberman?

No train wreck here

2008-10-03T11:03:00.000-05:00

I can't imagine anybody jumping ship based on last night's debate. Congratulations to Governor Palin for not wilting in the spotlight. Yes, I still shudder at the thought of President Palin, talkin' to guys and gals from those foreign countries who speak better English. But I'm used to that by now. Status quo until the election. January 20, we can start fixin' things.
My prayer is that with control of both houses and the White House, that Obama places all due emphasis on being a good president to those who voted against him. Also, that he is up to the task... I'd hate to be president at this juncture.

And, yes, young Mr. Hanni... It was popcorn!

Whiskey or popcorn?

2008-10-02T17:02:00.000-05:00

Tonight is the night for the most potentially interesting political debate of my lifetime. Not because it really matters, but because it offers a most stunning differential in talent, knowledge and experience. Michigan vs. Appalachian State? Maybe... I'll need whiskey. I think some low-fat popcorn might suffice. I am watching this as a potential train wreck. "Ta-a-a-d!!! Come kick this guy's ass!"

Fox is getting (negligibly) better, but...

2008-10-01T09:18:00.000-05:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTkqosRiyYo

Forgot to tell you, Mr. Waterbullet...

2008-09-30T15:53:00.000-05:00

November one, OU vs. NU, I am planning to prepare an authentic Mexican dinner feast including hogshead tamales, tacos de lengua, and cabritos, and possibly other things I love considered by most gringos to be inedible. I will use recipes from friends truly in the know, and this will be a labor of love for my family and my nicest friends. It is TBA whether this will be dinner or lunch. Possibly it could be both with a 3:00 kick-off...

Why I love John Oliver

2008-09-29T16:46:00.001-05:00

http://www.thedailyshow.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=185196&title=president-bushs-legacy

Bad Parenting 101

2008-09-29T11:52:00.000-05:00

Damned genetics! My 10-year-old son is a Beatles nut to the nth degree. The good news is this obsession takes up space once reserved for Pokemon, the soulless Asian export fighting heroes. The bad news is it's an obsession about as bad as the one I had for the Beatles. In answering J's questions about lyrics such as "Roll up for the mystery tour" and "Turn off the old mind relax and float downstream..." I elected to answer honestly. They're good musicians and entertainers, but no one to serve as a role models. You shouldn't do it, but that's what they're singing about. So J tells Sweet Pea (Mommy) that he knows the Magical Mystery Tour is about marijuana simulates rolling a joint as I (without even thinking about it and probably jonesing a little) did in explaining it, and she correctly freaks. Then I start second guessing. After all, I had no idea what dope was when I was 10. So I am backpedaling pretty hard, and at the same time still a little married to the honesty idea. I mean, what if he tries a little reefer in junior high? I'd like him to feel like he can be as candid about that as he would be about anything else he might be doing. Sweet Pea and I are debating the point in front of him (more bad parenting). I send him off to YouTube to listen to Ringo's No No Song (No no no no, Idon't smoke it no more...) and the issue is temporarily at rest. So my sweet little boy is potentially prematurely "cool", and it's my own fault. Gadzooks.

Political anxiety

2008-09-18T11:23:00.000-05:00

I live in Oklahoma and feel that much of great importance is at stake in the elections. I realize I am powerless to significantly impact what will happen. I feel that looking at new polling data every day is insufficient. I love my man, but hate him as a candidate alost as much as the other guy. I get really, really angry. And I hate Sarah Palin to the extent that I have involuntarily lost my crush on Tina Fay as a result. I need a therapist and some good whiskey. I control myself, but in my head... I am a complete basket case.

My letter to the editor at the Oklahoman

2008-09-13T14:58:00.000-05:00

I am a Democrat. Most of us are Christians, others are not. My politics are related to my religious belief, but I will explain this to you if and only if you ask. I believe that the Bible should be read daily. I believe God's law applies to all mankind, but that not all aspects can be wisely applied to man's governance. My presidential vote in Oklahoma will never count, thanks to the Electoral College. I believe in America and in personal responsibility. I cannot fathom why anyone might be afraid of me.
Liberalism and socialism are not remotely alike. Look it up! Boren and Henry should not apologize for supporting Obama in Oklahoma any more than Schwarzenegger should apologize for supporting McCain in California. I have never killed a fetus, and have personally fought to save two and won. Only Congress can technically declare war or balance the budget, but that is not how it really goes any more. There is plenty for us all to rightly blame on Bush, and plenty for Democrats to blame on ourselves.
This bit of honesty can hopefully clear up a lot of third-person nonsense disguised here as cogent thought last week.

2008-09-11T23:03:00.000-05:00

2008-09-11T14:04:00.000-05:00

To reunite with my old friends, to share the absurd, to inform and to entertain, I begin this blog with this. My friends (not like the nervous-habit, John McCain "my friends" but honest-to-God "my friends"): Ignore me when I rant. Forgive me when I offend. Hoist me upon your shoulders, fan me with palm leaves and carry me through a parade in my honor when I am the least bit clever.

Maybe next time...